Two times before in my life I have experienced the heaven going of people I love. However, when I received the phone call long distance, that my mother had also gone to heaven, it was, as the Lord told me, a seismic shift of sorts. I asked Him to carry my grief and sorrow, like the other times, and He did. But He also allowed me to experience this shift in my life and inner self. A lot would be different now, since my Mom was so central to our whole family, and such a great support. My Mother, after all.
First thing I noticed was that the big reality seemed smoother to face than the smaller “tremors” beneath my ‘feet’. There was much to plan, many people to get coordinated to fly out to California for a memorial service, and a lot of details to plan. With all this important stuff to deal with, what made me upset? The fact that I somehow misplaced or lost my cell phone charger. Where was it? It was jarring and dumb and difficult all at once! Facing the selling of Mom’s house we loved, dividing her belongings … I could be strong there, but dumb little things were magnified too much. I hardly knew me. Frustrated with myself, I talked to God a lot. He reminded me of another seismic shift … that of each of the disciples when their friend and Teacher, Jesus, was crucified and they were left behind. Shake and quake! The whole world around them changed in a moment. And there was a real earthquake with that event. His followers lost their connection for a time, did not know what to do.
To me, as I tried to organize my thoughts better, came the assurance that He had it all together for me … just trust Him, and know that when He took on human form for us all, He was familiar with human seismic shifts. Step by step, He tenderly led me through decisions, recovered my cell phone charger, and gave me tender times with family. Bless Him.
At my Bible time this AM, a week after I came home, I was found by Psalm 61:2-3: “when my heart is overwhelmed and fainting, lead me to the rock that is higher than I, for You have been a shelter and a refuge for me, and a strong tower against my adversary.”
Ahhh, into the shelter of the Lord to protect my agitated mind, and give me His peace. Just what I really needed all along.