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I am writing this in California, sitting with my husband in my mothers living room, trying to digest all that has happened since April first, when my sweet elderly mother went to Heaven. When my large extended family could get a date set for her memorial service, a lot of us, including my adult children and a cousin, had to fly across the country to be there. So much to decide, to prepare, to pack and to participate in together, and all the trip over I couldn’t seem to concentrate on much of anything that was not related to my Mom. Sweet reunions, poignant events, bumpy moments, Kleenex times and sorting out the inheritance, all are part of this time. We are a close and loving family, wherever we live, and we certainly all needed each other.

So I am here in this lovely and vast state, enjoying the western temperatures, the food, and trying to balance being in the past, present and future all at the same time. Most of all, I am remembering my Mother, who left such an amazing legacy. This has been a week of feeling like a bird, actually a bit like a “particular” bird, the one that was flying about in our air terminal, landing where it wanted and seemingly free, but with the boundaries of closed windows and doors.

When I was arriving in California, I heard to call my blog “Back to my future”, because I would be remembering the past with my mom, bringing her things home with me, and to pass some of her legacy to the next generation. My mom is free forever, and the doors and windows of my own future are opening wide, in God’s hands. Meantime, I am temporarily out of the cold pre-spring of Vermont and basking in the summer time temps of California. Not so bad a launching pad for the future!

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